self-pity
"you always drink too much, and eat too little."
i built my life around you and it fell back on me. you had this way of leveling me with your eyes, but these last few years i have been so unwise. when i was with you i was totally vulnerable. "i loved you, i loved you, i loved you. why did you hurt me, how could you? oh why, did you, leave me...bruised and battered, scarred and tattered."
i've been abandoned once again and am stuck here with two children. their lives are a constant reminder of my worst mistakes. i still tremble at the thought of you stumbling up the driveway as i peer through the drapes.
i've done all i can to distance myself from your memory, but it lingers and nothing can set me free. it rests in dormant regions of my cerebrum, a forgotten impulse that climbs unwelcome in my head. a stowaway that i cannot remove, shadowy stalker i cannot elude. you have broken me time after time: my heart and bones, spirit and mind. i have nothing more to hope for, for i have been unwanted my entire life.
"i can never make this right..."
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