Golden State

In this golden state of angels and saints I've lost myself in endless complaints. Lost in problems with which I'd rather not deal 'cause that requires admitting they're all real. I need to find a way to let go. I want all my wasted time back. I avoid fear because I refuse to face the facts. My comfort zone defines me, or maybe it confines me. And I can't find the key to the lock that would let me think outside the box. I need to find a way to get out. I wish I could say I'd feel differently somewhere else, but I've nowhere else to go to compare how this all felt. I want something new, 'cause around here it's just the past that I pursue. There's no way to move on until I get gone. I'm on my way out but I know I'll be back, hopefully with my broken mind totally intact.

Power Outage

Who needs pants at a time like this?

Death, Taxes & Doubt

"A revolving door is no place to play." Wise words as I struggle to find a friend that stays. But my life never will stop spinning, I've been dizzy since the accidental beginning. The only thing I've ever counted on is the feeling of being wrong. Like pouring my soul into the ears of a friend who offers a hand they would never lend. Like growing up. Like being stuck. Like always wondering if you're really enough. Like waiting for an answer to come and realizing it's easiest to just go numb. You call me pessimistic but I'm just realistic. 'Cause from here on out I will only rely on the sour taste of a bitter goodbye. And the things I hear through the grapevine make me lose my fucking mind. Whenever I try to figure it out I start to think I'll always be stuck with doubt. Oh, now I figured it out. I see I'm destined for doubt.

Rhythm

I want to find the moment where nothing else matters, but lately I've been falling up stairs and sliding down ladders. What a shame that in this day and age I can’t express myself. I have to play a game just to feel like I’m getting help. I hate waiting for somebody to come, the solitude leaves me numb. I struggle to find the difference between independence and loneliness. And where you came in was no coincidence. I don't believe in destiny, but I haven't found my own way yet. I will undo every nail that's holding up my safety net. 'Cause I'm long overdue to try something new and it's something new I so desperately need; I've outgrown this role. I shiver at the thought of your lips, 'cause compared to your kiss the world is cold. No matter what I do to settle the beat of my heart my rhythm's out of sync being so far apart. This distance confines me, or maybe it defines me, I don't know anymore. No I am not where I belong. I get lost following the lines we've drawn. No I am not where I belong. I hope the conclusion isn't foregone. Because no I am not, where I belong.

End.

I Feel Followed

I try to run for cover but my mind is slowed down by the clutter. I know it was you who put me in a blindfold. It all felt so orchestrated. How are you so damn cold. It all felt so coordinated. My family's just a name that won't control my thoughts. I spend too much time in all these hard fought battles lost. I shouldn't bother to fight. My past is always shadowing me. But now I'm turning on the light.